Tuesday, 9 June 2009

I'm not a feminist, promise.

There are few categorical things that get me annoyed. Or more specifically, frustrated. The usual suspects, ignorance, arrogance and plain right rudeness are the universal culprits, but recent events have me to find a new hate. Men.

Hate is a strong word. In this context, maybe too strong. I have yet to meet a woman who truly means it when she says she hates a man, myself included, but there are times in a girl’s life when men just cause way too many problems. The aftermaths of occurrences with the opposite sex for women everywhere leaves me pondering whether the excitement of the odd fling is really worth it. Should women simply condemn themselves as celibate just to prevent themselves from getting hurt? I think not. That is a bit too extreme, even for me at my current stage of male frustration.

The problem, it seems, with me and with many other women, is that we expect too much from our male friends. Not a bad thing I may add.
Personally, I rarely favour the ‘no strings attached’ proposal, as I believe that it is a concept which entirely contradicts itself. No matter how distant you try to make yourself from whoever you “have fun” with, there is always something attached. There is always some afterthought and often a few “what-ifs”.

I have yet to realise if men understand this concept. Some do and some don’t. It may be possible that they all understand it, but some choose not to practise it and instead choose to pass themselves around like a treat at Christmas. This being when the ‘ego’ problem arises. A man with a big ego leaves a lot to be desired. This type, in my experience, see ladies as bait. A gender that irresistibly throws themselves towards the egocentric creatures and mostly get nothing in return on a long-term scale. (Unless you count 10pm till 8am long-term).

This is the core of the problem between different gender expectations. Men, stereotypically at the adolescent stage, fear commitment, preferring to lure out their prey in night-time activity and spit them out come sunrise, whereas women often fear this as disrespect and rejection, opting instead for the hope of a possible exclusivity.

Sex is not a game. A term that may cause further confrontations amongst men and women, but fundamentally, sex is a strings attached sport, carrying with it hopes of commitment, emotional connection and an adverse vulnerability towards the partner as solid team players.

I repeat, to women, sex is most definitely not a one-off game played for the thrill of scoring as many points as possible. Notches on the bedpost are not an enticement, much the opposite. A man that considers his notches, may indeed need some careful consideration himself.

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