Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Hello babe what's happenin', you called?

When Professor Green spoke about that girl who had priorities other than him, he made a very good point. In a girl’s world this is exactly the kind of thing that would satisfy. Don’t make someone a priority when they only make you an option, as the saying goes.

When I heard Prof Green’s single earlier today, it reminded me of the Sex and the City episode where Carrie tries out dating like a man. In other words walking out on a man after a one nighter, playing the field and making light of a thing women like to call commitment. I’m not talking marriage or long-term plans here, just simply about a polite level of respect between two people.

But I wonder, can women really disconnect themselves that much? Maybe there’s more to Green’s lyrics than meet the eye, maybe some men get more attached than others and maybe the others (the majority?) don’t. It takes a certain type of female to date like a man, a one who can disconnect all feelings and emotions when required, only switching them back on when appropriate distance between the man and herself is reached. But even so, emotions will chase you down and the brunt of the actions will be felt sooner or later. Whether this is the same for men is a mystery, but the female complex dating agenda and innate connections made both physically and emotionally are always there, whether buried beneath the pretence of ‘male dating’ or out there for the world to see.

Maybe the challenge isn’t the style of dating, but rather the style of emotional mapping. Can a man walk out of a bedroom, shut the door and never turn back? Never wonder what could have happened? Whether they can or not, what remains true is that women can’t. There will always be something, even if it cannot be named, it will be there. Again, I’m not speaking of the illusive ‘One’ or plans of long term relationship, but the nurturer that is a woman will always feel something (of course the feelings can quickly change into something where the aforementioned distance couldn’t be far enough).

Having said that, God loves a woman who tries and so do I. In a time when women are more sexually active than ever, and more importantly at a time when promiscuity is more accepted, a woman who tries and fails is not a failure. More like a try before you buy phenomena try it, if you like it, good for you – you are part of the small percentage of women who can have sex like a man. Or more likely, try it, like it, hope for more, over-analyse every second of your encounter with said man, get let down and spend remainder of the day questioning what is wrong with you. By all means have sex like a man but if you can’t stand the heat, as they say, get out of the kitchen, and get out fast.

So maybe Professor Green’s top 40 hit ‘I need you tonight’ made a point that men fall victim to lust more than first thought and a woman can do the no strings attached thing if she treads with total caution. However the notions of traditional values relating to mutual respect, intimacy and some sort of the initial connection between two people are held even by the liberated ladies of today, most hoping that the “hello babe” call is that man you swapped numbers with the other night. Romance may be dead, but effort certainly isn’t.

1 comment:

  1. I think there's so much pressure on women now a days to have sex like a man. If a man walks out of a bedroom, can't stop thinking about the girl and calls her that evening he's a 'sweetheart' if a girl walks out a bedroom, can't stop thinking about the guy and then calls him that evening she's week, emotional and needy. I don't see why we can't embrace having feelings for the people we are close with as a really positive and beautiful thing about women. There's a lot of broken hearts out there who don't like to admit it.