Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Journey into No Man's Land

When it comes to men, there are times when women think they have it all figured out. Then realisation sets in. The realisation that all along they didn’t have the foggiest idea of what was going on in said man’s head; what he wanted, what his intentions were and why the hell he was making such an effort (which subsequently has dwindled). Admittedly, if there was a woman who knew the answers to these dilemmas, the answers would probably have changed a fair few times by now, totally unpredictable.

It happens all the time, not just to me, but to women everywhere. As much as they may deny it, women are obsessed with trying to figure men out. Well, it seems that the tangled vines of the male brain is much like no man’s land. It is a place where women who dare to go will never understand the real goings-on.

I have heard the rumours, I’m sure you have too; men are simple. There is (apparently) no need for the over-thinking, the analysing, for thinking about all the worst possible scenarios and most of all for the self doubt that women put themselves through. In some experience it may be these things that sends them running for the hills. Rule number one must be to be covert. Women who are guilty of over analysing, must be covert about it. By all means, tell your girlfriends about it, but do so with caution, never going beyond enemy lines. He will run.

It is all fair and good saying all this and vowing a bout of female empowerment, but girls will be girls after all. We will always turn to our friends and ask for their opinions and we will forever more talk about relationships, sex and men, sharing circumstances and dosing out advice on each. The advice may be cruel and kind, but in the majority of cases it will be farcical, complete with a mandatory happily ever after. Rule Two: this also has to stop. Yes, hope is good, but hanging on to hope’s every last string can be emotionally draining, the days of waiting by the phone are from this day over.

The writers of He’s Just Not Into You tell women to take things as they are, simple and at face value. If he’s not speaking to you, not texting you, not instant messaging you, emailing you etc etc, he is probably Just Not That Into You. Forget the cherry blossom details, put you first and move on.

As hard as it may be, a woman has to be strong, liberating herself from the controlling powers of male seduction. No matter how fit you think he is, if he’s gone awol, he just isn’t worth the effort.

There are other rumours too. These are about 21st century dating and they are something which the modern women love to fall back on. “Why should I have to wait around for a man? This is the 21st century, I can make the first move.” Yes, I do agree with this (taking a leaf out of Samantha Jones’ book, I’d say) but when you are making the first, second, third, fourth, twenty seventh move, it’s time to realise a failure and abort the mission.

Yes, this may be the 21st century, a time where women’s liberation has created new grounds for women everywhere, but along with equal rights must come equal sense of self. In order to really take power and control of our emotions (put ‘do not text’ reminders next to the man’s name in your address book if needs be) the quest to understand a man must take a back seat. The chances are that men don’t really understand what is going through their heads anyway and this may well be demonstrated through their unpredictable actions. But they are not alone. Show me a woman who fully (and I mean fully) understands the occurrences in her noggin and I will willingly admit defeat.

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